HARDEST QUESTION EVER! (continued and updated with more details)?

Hmm, sounds like a Vista thing. I've never had a problem with any controller cards running in XP, and I've used a few. VIA is pretty darn good as well, so I'm at a loss for what's going on, seems like you've covered your bases pretty well. If you have an XP computer laying around, you might try it in there and see if you can reproduce the same results, could indicate a faulty card. Otherwise, heck IDK!